5-5-09

Although I didn't know it, I was in the middle of my last day pregnant with Bailey. I so clearly remember this day. In fact, I remember telling Blaine that if I ever wanted to have more kids, he needed to remind me of this day. Unfortunately, my memories from that day are not good. I spent the whole day in bed, as I had the 5 days before trying to stretch Bailey's time inside. After weeks of not being able to breathe and not being able to stand up for more than 5 minutes at a time, I had what I would consider the biggest breakdown I've ever had.

After Blaine got home from work, I made an attempt to shower as I had a high risk ob appointment the next day. It didn't go well. I ended up sitting in the shower for over an hour balling my eyes out. I couldn't remember the last time I felt Bailey kick (because of all the extra fluid) but my doc told me I probably wouldn't and not to worry about it. We had bought a stethoscope the week before and Blaine spent 15-20 minutes every night trying to hear whether or not her heart was still beating. On that night, I was convinced she was gone. Blaine tried and tried to convince me she was ok and I would see in the morning that she was fine. I wasn't having it. I begged him to get my regular ob to take her out. Somehow he convinced me to wait until we were scheduled to see her on 5-7. Of course, we found out at the MFM doc the next day that she was still with us but she might not have made it another day...